Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Painful fights
I am sitting here, crying my eyes out as I type this. I hate emotional, hurtful fights. The boyfriend and I do it a lot, it seems. I know he doesn't mean what he says, but it really hurts my heart. I don't understand how after fighting like this, he can just go into the bedroom and fall asleep, while I stay awake for hours dwelling on it. Hm..
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Sorry to hear about this Sam. Unfortunately guys are wired different and hand stuff much more inwardly than we do. Hopefully its just something y'all are going through because you are young, and new parents at that. Try and figure out what the real root of the problem is and work from there.
ReplyDeleteSending love and positivity your way doll!
Omg I'm so sorry!! I think it is part of the emotional programing in males or lack of. When I had fights with my ex I would get like no sleep from the fights, but he wouldn't have trouble that he told me of. I hope things are better or getting there!
ReplyDelete~Ottilie
You poor sweetie. Relationships are hard. Raising babies together is beyond hard at times. Just do your best every day and hit your pillow at night with no regrets. Take care.
ReplyDeleteOne skill that helped my husband and I A LOT is learning to fight fair. There are many books and articles on the subject. A few of the techniques involve only discussing the issue at hand (no, "Well last week, you sat on the couch while I had to change a poopy diaper and the phone rang and the doorbell went off and you expected me to do everything!" ) :) giving each other the opportunity to table the discussion until both of you can think of solutions, bringing up solutions rather than heaping on more problems, repeating back what the other person just said (this can get tedious, it's more making sure you are both on the same page). One thing I learned is that no one should ever need to "vent" on the other person. If there is venting going on, it's important to discuss what stresses trigger those vents, what things release that pressure and work on those releases ;) Good luck to you Samantha. I hope you and your loved one decide to work on the arguments together. You can do it! We've all been there.
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